


Uncalculated Calcutions

by ghaskan



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Fluff, M/M, No Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 06:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghaskan/pseuds/ghaskan
Summary: Kiibo visits Amami, triggering the start of their journey across the Academy.





	Uncalculated Calcutions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alucard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alucard/gifts).



The rapping at the door pulled Amami Rantarou from his thoughts and from his nicely done bed and into his laceless sneakers. He ran a hand through his hair, untangling whatever knots had formed on its back while he had laid wide awake on the covers, fixed his sweater, and went on to invite in his guest.

Pushing the door wide open, Amami found a robot fidgeting at threshold to his room, blue eyes snapping from the floor to his host. “Good morning, Amami-kun!” the robot blurt out while gripping the metallic collar around his neck, a tentative smile on his lips.

Wondering why Kiibo was grimacing, Amami stepped out of the dorm, then closed the door behind him. “Oh, hey, Kiibo-kun.”

“Excuse me, but I will, as they say, jump straight to the point.” Jabbing a finger at Amami, Kiibo asked the burning question which had been frying his microchips the entire night, “Amami-kun, could it be that you are actually the _Super High School Level Idol_?”

Amami chuckled. “What’s with coming to my room to ask something like that all of a sudden?”

Kiibo clenched his teeth and his fists. “What’s so funny about it?!” His hair antenna drooped into a sad curl as he muttered,“I thought that you wished to find out about your talent, and after performing several high precision calculations, it was the conclusion that I was able to reach...”

With an apologetic expression on his face, Amami swayed his hands up and down. “Now, now… Humans don’t always laugh ‘cause someone’s acting funny. You can laugh ‘cause someone’s acting cute, too.”

Kiibo furrowed his naked eyebrows. What did Amami mean by this? No matter; he would add the information to his databases and process it later. “Regardless, you’re yet to answer my question! Shouldn’t you be worried about finding out what your talent is?”

“I’m looking forward to it, is all. And no, don’t think I’m the SHSL Idol, all things considered. Don’t let my fashion sense fool you, my singing is _awful_.”

“Oh...”

“What’s the matter?” Amami’s eyes widened as he let out an affected gasp. “Don’t tell me you wanted an excuse to get my autograph!”

“I-It’s not like that! It’s just… P-Please don’t laugh at this! I dream of being an idol, and I thought that, if your talent had anything to do with this career path, you could help me out, perhaps.”

“When it comes to music, you’re better off asking Akamatsu-san, but… well, if you’ve come all this way anyway, you can sing me a tune. I gotta confess, you’ve piqued my curiosity.”

Folding his arm in an acute angle to settle his fists on the sides of where a human’s ribcage would have been, Kiibo said, “All right, then! Here goes!”

An indescribable timbre invaded the hall. More than music to one’s ears, Kiibo’s voice was a harbinger of doomsday. Amami attempted to shield his senses from the onslaught, but it was too late: the sharp notes were already scratching his eardrums like nails on chalkboard. Amidst the calamity, a faint hope blossomed: Kiibo had closed his eyes, sparing him from witnessing the havoc he had brought upon the Academy. Squirming, Amami wondered if their classmates were still alive.

Once Kiibo screeched what appeared to be the ominous chant’s final note, Amami composed himself and begun clapping enthusiastically to draw attention away from the beads of sweat rolling down his face.

“Well, how was it?” Kiibo asked expectantly.

“It was...” Lying wouldn’t be appropriate, but Amami couldn’t bring himself to hurt the robot’s feelings either. “I’d never heard anything like it before.”

“You really think so? I’m very happy to hear that!” Kiibo said, wreathed in smiles. “The idol market is highly competitive, and can quickly become saturated by performances who all present the same kind of spectacle. Therefore, I would be more likely to find success if I were able to carve a niche for myself.”

“Haha, yeah... for sure.”

“I shall ask Akamatsu-san for assistance later! Perhaps she can compose a backing track for my song. However, before that, I would like to ask: is there anything that you consider yourself skilled at?”

Amami shrugged. “I guess I know a thing or two about manicure and other girly stuff thanks to my sisters… why do you ask?”

“W-well...” Kiibo’s collar closed around his neck in a futile attempt to wide the blushing which had spread all over his face. “I… I’m not sure myself. I felt a nagging curiosity and my inner voice told me to perform a few queries with view to learn more about Amami-kun.” Kiibo’s expression shifted from bashful to apologetic as cogs fell into place.” Oh! Excuse me if I’m being too nosy! I didn’t mean to be rude to you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kiibo-kun. Wanting to learn more about others is pretty normal. Wasn’t rude in the slightest.”

Kiibo heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness! Seeing how you’re good at handling matters of this nature... I have another question for you, Amami-kun.”

“Sure, shoot.”

“D-do you have a girlfriend?!”

“Uh?” The question came so out of left field that all Amami could do for a time was gape at it. “No, not really…” Crossing his arms across his chest, he gave the other a cold-eyed stare. “I guess I look the part, but trust me Kiibo-kun, I’m just a chill guy.”

Kiibo held a balled up fist over his chest. “Well… then...”

“Then what?”

“C-can you… can you pretend to be dating me?”

Amami choked. Were all robots this bold? “I mean, it’s not like I can’t, but… Why? And why ‘pretend’?”

“Well, I…” Kiibo cupped his chin in his hand as he begun to recite the results of his computations. “As a robot, there are many human feelings I do not fully comprehend, love and romance being chief among them. That is why I thought that if I tried dating someone, even as a simulation, I would better understand human behaviour. Because Amami-kun is classified as cool, nice and, more importantly, certainly not robophobic in my databases, I considered him, that is to say, you, to be a suitable assistant in this experiment.”

Amami twirled a stray lock of hair around his finger. “Kiibo-kun, what you’re asking for is… No, it’s fine, I get it. I don’t want you to miss out on such an important part of the human experience. We can give it a try,” Amami paused, raising his a finger before continuing, “with one condition.”

“And what would that be?”

“We can go on a date, but we won’t be playing make-believe. It’ll be the real deal.”

Kiibo’s hair antenna stood on end. “T-The real deal?! But all I wanted was...”

“Look, I may not strike your databases as the type, but for me romance’s serious business,” Amami said while scratching his cheek. “We might as well go on an actual date first to see if, um, a thing between us might work.”

“Still, no area of this school strikes me as suitable for such an activity.”

A smirk spread across Amami’s lips as he put his hands on his hips. “We’ll just have to employ some DIY. Wait here.”

Turning his back to a puzzled Kiibo, Amami slipped into his room. After rummaging his wardrobe for a couple of minutes, he came back carrying a neatly folded bed sheet under his arm and a climbing rope in his hand. “Let’s go to the cafeteria. I have an idea.”

Nodding, Kiibo followed after Amami. They walked side by side with an awkward silence as their chaperone. Before they had a chance to break the ice, a familiar jingle broke their journey.

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ RISE AND SHINE, URSINE–! ～☆

“Rise and shine, ursine!” chanted a quintet of colourful bear-shaped robots.

“Hello! How are you doing?” a red bear wearing a silver scarf said.

Not giving the students the time to reply, a macho blue bear intervened, “Hey, was it one of you two punkasses screamin’ earlier? ‘Cause HELL YEAH! I’ve been lookin’ for someone with such hellish talent for a while! Someone who’d be able to match the levels of ear-bleedin’ caused by my 『GUITAR SKRETCH』!” The bear strummed a few chords, cuing his gaudy electric guitar to shriek a bunch of grating notes. “HELL YEAAAH!” he shouted along.

After he was finished, the two boys and three of the bears took their hands off their ears.

“Monodam, you asshole! You didn’t even bat an eye while I was doin’ my gig!” the blue bear yelled at a poker-faced green bear.

Monodam stared blankly at him.

“Argh! You’re so fuckin’ stupid!” Fuming, the blue bear raised his electric guitar above his head, then snapped it in half.

Amami took a long, deep breath. The Monokumarz’s nonsense had been going on for far too long. “All right, what do you guys want?”

“Ah! That’s right!” the red bear said, “We came bear-ing a message for you! _”_

The yellow bear adjusted his glasses “Ugh, we ain’t got time for your stupid puns… Anyhow, Papa ordered us to tell the two of you that it’s gonna rain around noon.”

“And Papa’s always right as rain!” the red bear cut in.

“ _Ahem_. Well, that’s how it is. If you’re gonna do something outside, do it quick.”

“I’m not sure why you went through all this trouble to tell us that, although we appreciate your concern,” Kiibo said, stealing a glance at an annoyed Amami, “I suppose.”

“You’re welcome! Toodles _fur_ now!” the red bear said as his yellow sibling glared daggers at him.

“So long, bear-well!” the five bears said in unison.

.・゜゜・ SO LONG! BEAR-WELL! ・゜゜・．ʕ　·ᴥʔ

As abruptly as they had appeared, so did the Monokumarz vanish, leaving behind a couple of puzzled students.

“I still cannot bring myself to like them, however I’m grateful that they took time off their days to give us such a useful warning,” Kiibo said.

“Eh. Coming from them, it’s not as useful as you’d think,” Amami argued. “They’re probably messing with us. Looking outside, it _is_ cloudy, but it’s not gonna rain till tonight. The air’s still pretty dry.”

“If you say so.”

They started for the cafeteria once more. As they stepped inside, Amami slapped his forehead. “Crap! I forgot you can’t eat! I was planning to take us on a picnic, but...”

“That’s quite fine, Amami-kun,” Kiibo reassured. “I like watching others eat and drink. Besides, I’ve never gone on a picnic. I look forward to experiencing one!”

Amami smiled. “Always full of surprises… Then, please go look for food that doesn’t need to be cooked. Y’know, stuff like cookies and canned drinks.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for us to ask Toujou for help? Considering her behavioural patterns, I believe that she would gladly cook a fine meal for us.”

“I don’t want to bother Toujou-san, and anyway it wouldn’t be cool to have someone else cook for our date. Also, in the off-chance it’s gonna rain like the bears said, it’s better for us to not spend time meal prepping. The food’s more of a prop, anyway.”

Kiibo nodded, and went to look for food in the kitchen. Amami tried in vain to look for a picnic basket, but, as he had expected, he wasn’t able to find one. However, he did come across a large tupperware, around which he fitted the rope, producing an improvised handle, then folded the bed sheet a couple more times, and placed it at the bottom of the container.

Kiibo returned with a box of crackers, a package of dried sardines, and a bottle of Panta. “I have procured the food which fit your criteria. Here,” he said, handing his finds over to Amami.

“Thanks, Kiibo-kun.” Amami accepted the food and placed it inside the makeshift basket, which was then sealed with a plastic lid. “This ought to do the trick. Let’s get going.”

Once outside the dilapidated school building, they traveled into the garden. Amami removed the items they had collected in the cafeteria from the tupperware, spread out the sheet over the dewy grass, and set down the food and drink on it. The two sat down with the meal lying between them.

“Thank you for the meal,” Amami said, joining his hands together as though in prayer.

While Kiibo repeated after him, Amami picked up a cracker. Anticipating the salty and greasy flavour advertised by the “Cheesy Taste” written on the box in big, bold letters, Amami prepared to sink his teeth on the cracker when a raindrop splashed on his head. Then another. Again and again.

“Damn those bears, I knew they were up to no good!” Amami cursed under his breath.

Soon there would be a downpour falling on them. That wouldn’t be an issue, except for the fact that Kiibo was a robot! Fearing that the other would short circuit under the rain, Amami jumped to his feet, prompting Kiibo to do the same, then pulled the blanket from under the meal and onto Kiibo. Grabbing the dazzled robot by the wrist, Amami lead him on a sprint to the main school building.

Once inside, Amami let go of Kiibo and bent over to catch his breath. “Are… are you all right?” he asked.

Kiibo gaped at Amami for a couple of seconds. “Ah… thank you, Amami-kun! The thing is… you see, I’m waterproof.”

“Oh.” Laughing dryly, Amami rubbed the back of his neck. “Oops. Should’ve asked first, uh… But, y’know, I really didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Were I not waterproof, that would have likely been of no consequence, either! Since I’m a robot, Iruma-san can always repair me. If anything, I should be the one protecting humans… Regardless, I appreciate your concern, Amami-kun!”

Amami laughed again, albeit with more gusto. “Don’t sweat it, I only did what seemed right at the time. Anyhow, we might as well go join the others for lunch now... There’s always next time for our picnic.”

“That sounds good to me. Although our date didn’t go as planned, I’ve learned much concerning love and romance today. More importantly, I had lots of fun! That’s why I hope we can go on many more dates in the future!”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a gift for the [NDRV3 Christmas in July](https://ndrv3christmasinjuly.tumblr.com/) event. I've never written this ship, or Amami for that matter, so it was a fun challenge.


End file.
